Muslim Wedding – Javanese Style

On Saturday July 5th at 8:00 am. I attened the wedding of my co-teacher, Meidy. Most Muslim weddings occur at the bride’s family’s house, and this was no exception.
It was a windy, cool (relatively speaking) morning, and the road in front of her family’s home had a white canopy draped over it. Under the canopy were chairs covered in white fabric with gold fabric tying the back. At the beginning of the canopy sat two young ladies who asked us to sign the guest book and then offered souvenirs of the wedding – gold hand mirrors. Many people were sitting underneath the canopy – but we were ushered past them to the seats in front of the room where the ceremony was taking place. The room for the ceremony was attached to the house and the huge wooden doors were opened to reveal the wedding party, parents, and other gentleman. The bride and groom sat at a low table, while others sat around them. Opening out into a patio, sat other men, who did a great deal of talking into the microphone. We sat in chairs under a different white canopy. To the right of the room was a “throne-like arrangement”, with two chairs higher than the two on each side. Behind the chairs was a glass-encased water fall, surrounding by greenery, and in front of the chairs was another waterfall, surrounded by small shrubs and flowers.

During the ceremony, the groom spoke, as did other men, but Meidy did not speak at all. There is a marriage book that various people signed during the ceremony, and the actually marriage occurs after the groom and the bride’s father hold hands and speak to each other. After this part of the ceremony was complete, the caterers passed out boxes of snacks. The snacks consisted of bottled water, sticky rice stuffed with ground chicken, wrapped in a palm leaf, a sweet fruit (similar to dates) stuffed with chopped nuts, also wrapped in a palm leaf, and a fried donut shaped like an egg – filled with chocolate.

The couple came out of the house and went to the canopy that was draping the road and where many more guests had gathered. . Here they performed Javanese rituals. The first one is them lighting incense together and then putting it out in a jug of water. The next one had the bride and groom along with their parents throwing coins at the guests. Another tradition has the groom stepping on an egg and then the bride washes the groom’s foot. This has been sanitized so that the egg is in a plastic bag, and the groom actually steps on a board that covers the egg. Finally both Meidy and her husband, Harris take the earthen jug and smash it to the ground.

Next the wedding party moved over to the throne-like set-up. Initially the bride’s parents take the center seats and the bride and groom kneel before them to receive their blessings. Next the groom’s parents repeat the ritual with the couple. Finally, Meidy and Harris sit in the center chairs and a cooked whole chicken is brought to them. They are to tug the chicken apart by its front legs and the person who has the more of the chicken is said to be the one with the power in the relationship. Meidy was able to get the entire chicken – but for the wing that her husband was initially holding! Afterwards the couple ate from the piece that Harris had managed to secure.

Finally the guests were able to go up to the families and offer congratulations. The happy couple and their parents will remain there throughout the festivities. After wards we were ushered to the buffet line where there was rice, chicken and vegetables, carrot and green bean salad, tofu, bananas and water. After eating it is the polite thing to go back up and ask permission to leave, which is what we did.

It was a beautiful ceremony, and hopefully with the pictures you get an idea of how exquisite the outfits for both the bride and the groom were. The actual reception occurred later in the day. I did not go to that, but from what I am told, that is more food, and music. Again, the bride and groom do not participate- they remain to receive.
and bid good-bye to the guests. I had a great experience, and I was honored to be invited.